why i hate cuddling

I hate cuddling.  Absolutely despise it.  Just the word "cuddle" sends me into cold sweats, and my body breaks out into hives (as you may imagine, this will be a rough post for me).  You see, once upon a time, at the tender age of 8, I was curious as a cat and asked my mom what sex was.  I can still remember sitting in her bedroom, her on the edge of the bed, and me sitting cross-legged on the carpet looking up to her while she described sex as "a special kind of cuddle for adults only."  Cut to 15 years later when someone wants to cuddle and cue the negative associations and subsequent gagging.

Now don't get me wrong, I like to nestle up to a warm body and overdose on oxytocin just as much as the next chick.  But I don't cuddle -- I snuggle. And even if your mom didn't scar you for life from cuddling, I think you should be a snuggler, too.  Let's refer to dictionary.com for a little vocabulary lesson to start:

snug·gle [snuhg-uhl], verb (used without object)

1. to lie or press closely, as for comfort or from affection; nestle.

cud·dle [kuhd-l], verb (used with object)

1. to hold close in an affectionate manner; hug tenderly; fondle

Hugging and holding tenderly, closely and affectionately?  Yumm.  But it's all fun and games until someone gets FONDLED.  Thanks, but no thanks.  I prefer a life in which fondling is typically not involved.  And by "typically not involved," I mean never[ish]. Other reasons to opt for snuggling?  Fabric softener and the fabulous Snuggie.  If you can't get over Snuggie compromising the integrity of the word, I propose the huggle (and I don't mean the Wikipedia vandalism reversion tool).  Because huggling is great in every sense of the word, which coincidentally, feels like a hug on your lips as you utter the word.

So are you a cuddler, a snuggler, or a huggler?  I suggest knowing, because I suspect that OKCupid's mysterious compatibility algorithm takes this tidbit into account.  And if you are a cute boy who needs to conduct more research on the issue in some real life situations, feel free to get a hold of me... I'm only here to help.

L