i believe, age 16

So today I was googling a friend's potential love interest, since I'm a professional Internet Researcher and all (but really -- this was a task I used to be paid for at my old job from time to time), which made me remember that I haven't googled myself in a while to make sure my internet presence is goodie-two-shoes.  Everything looked A-okay, until I stumbled on my online diary from senior year of high school.  A ton of kids at my high school had them, and as the precursor to xanga/livejournals/myspace which was the precursor to Facebook, you can imagine the kind of drama they caused.  I'm pretty sure the library media center ended up blocking the domain so that people couldn't log in at school.

Luckily, it seems I had the common sense to delete my original diary that was full of all kinds of sordid details and angst, but this one still exists somehow.  Just a couple of short, random posts that I wish I had more details about... What was the ONE thing I wish I had done differently at prom?  Why was I in "very very very big trouble"?  The suspense is killing me.  One thing I did find was my "I Believe" paper from English class.  The assignment was to write x number of "I believe" statements, and I think our teacher was going to mail them back to us later on in life, but I'll believe it when I see it (Anyone in Sheline's class get the letter we wrote to ourselves freshman year?).

What did I believe at age 16?  Read on:

i believe. (May 8, 2005)

I believe in having a good time.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Lindsey a dull girl.

I believe in relaxation. Nothing beats bubble baths,
or barefoot summer afternoons reading on the back deck.

I believe in laughing. It's good for your heart.
I believe that acting silly in front of other people is A-Okay.

I believe in eating. I believe that ice cream is an acceptable breakfast.
I believe that food tastes better when it looks pretty on your plate.

I believe in family time. I believe in family dinners.
I believe that everyone needs to be loved unconditionally by someone.

I believe that friends are priceless.
Friends are the flowers in the garden of life.
I believe that strangers are friends waiting to be met.

I believe in sharing. Things are just things.
I don't believe that there is a reason to be selfish.

I believe that a messy room is okay. I wish my mom did.
I am a firm believer that the floor is just an enormous shelf.

I believe in respecting your body.
I believe that a lot of people don't.

I believe that people's quirks make them special.

I believe that what a person does when no one is watching
is what defines that person. Anyone can put on a front for an audience.

I believe in sweating. Otherwise it doesn't seem like you're working hard.
Whoever said that a girl "glows" is a liar. Girls sweat.

I believe in believing in opposite ideas:

I believe in buckling down and getting stuff done. But--
I believe in procrastinating as much as possible.

I believe in saving money. But--
I believe in spending it all.

I don't believe in choosing favorites.
My favorite color is pink.

I believe in working hard. But sometimes--
I believe in doing as little work as possible.

I believe in God. But--
I am not one of strong faith.
I believe in the Big Bang.

I believe that abortion is wrong, but--
I believe that women deserve a choice.

I believe in keeping my secrets. But--
I enjoy telling them.

I believe it is okay to be wishy-washy about some things.

I believe that to keep a diary is difficult.
I believe that successful diary-writing keeps you at peace with yourself.
Even online diaries.

I believe that a bad day can be forgotten after a good, hard workout.
I believe in chocolate and endorphins.

I believe that you can't try to control your life too much.
I believe in "letting go of the wheel" and "stopping to enjoy the scenery".

I believe in using cheesy analogies and hiding behind metaphors.
I believe in everything cheesy:
romance novels, macaroni and cheese, and Disney movies.

I believe in random acts of kindness.

I believe in being mellow.
I believe that people who get too caught up in things don't take the time to enjoy themselves.

I believe in taking my time.
I believe that everyone should choose a time of day to dilly-dally.
I choose breakfast.

I believe in naming inanimate objects.
Olivia the viola is friends with Debby the bike.

I believe in love.
I don't believe in trying to ponder love.

I believe in listening to books on tape,
driving fast, playing solitaire for hours on end,
wearing socks to bed, drinking chocolate milk,
and sleeping in 'til noon.

I believe in honesty, inherent goodness,
unconditional love, and heaven.

I believe in enjoying the small things in life.
And that then the big things will fall in place by themselves.

Le Sigh.

<3 L