my love affair with Talls

It's no big secret I love the Talls.  I've mentioned it a few times here, and anyone who hangs out with me knows I get starry-eyed over Talls when I see them at soccer/the mall/the bar/anywhere and everywhere.  My last three boyfriends have all been over 6'5 (as evidenced above), and a majority of the guys I date fall into that category.  But it hasn't always been this way...

Back in kindergarten, I had about 3 "kissy friends"/boyfriends.  They were all about 40 inches or less.  Just saying.  Fast forward to middle school, when all the boys I had unrequited crushes on were Justin Beiber clones.  Short, tiny little skateboarder guys?  I loved them (this could explain my current creepy obsession with the Beibs). 

Sometime around junior year of high school, I read an article (that I scoured the internet for, but couldn't find) in the newspaper about man-to-woman height ratios.  Evidently, the average height ratios of happily married couples was 1.13:1.  At 5 feet, 2 and a half inches, I determined that my perfect match would be 5'10 and a half.  A few months later, I start dating my First Boyfriend Ever, and he's 5'10 and a half.  Turns out, it takes more than a "perfect" height ratio and good kissing to last longer than about a month in high school.  Heart-broken and alone, I don't really date until the summer before college, when I had a summer fling with a Short who had cheekbones from heaven. I arrived in Oxford, a young, eager, and innocent 17-year-old.  Within two days, I'd tricked a Very Tall basketball player, measuring 6'8, into liking me.  And it's been all Talls ever since.  

What, exactly, constitutes a Tall?  It probably depends on the girl.  For me, with a small, compact stature of 5 feet, 3 and one-half inches, Talls are 6'4 (previous 6'5, but adjusted recently to include one Nick Andopolis) or taller.  I draw the line at 6'10 as dateable though, because that's just insane-- and I did the legwork to determine this.  That said, for someone shorter, a Tall might be 6 feet even.  It's all relative.  But to be clear... when it's me talking about Talls, they're over 6'4.

Advantages of dating Talls:

1. easy to find in crowded places
2. can reach tall things for you with go-go-gadget arms
3. previously mentioned go-go-gadget arms are good snuggling arms
4. Talls (in my experience) give good piggy back rides
5. big people have more blood in their bodies, so their hearts are bigger [cue audience: "awww"]

What can I offer a Tall?  Well, my shoulders serve well as arm rests.  And they can set their beers on my head (years of balancing books for posture make this a viable solution in terms of cupholders).  It's also been suggested that shorter girls have a lower center of gravity, which could be Very Useful in the bedroom.  I remain skeptical.


So, anyone who knows cute Talls can send them my way.  In the meantime, I'll be stalking Ann Arbor, hunting down the last couple of Talls I haven't already terrorized.


L