what happened in vegas...

is staying in Vegas.  Literally.  I lost my camera and about 500 photos on it, so there's no evidence I even went to Vegas.  Except for this Blackberry picture of me playing the penny slots at 4am on Friday night/Saturday morning.  The trip was such a blur, and clear chronology has been lost with the camera.  So instead, I present to you the ABC's of our trip to Sin City--just 26 little tidbits of what may or may not have happened while we were out there:

Advil.  A necessary cocktail of Advil and Gatorade to counteract the other cocktails
Beatrice.  The name I gave to just about every new friend I made.  ("But you can call me Bee!")
Cirque du Soleil.  MINDBLOWING.  New goal is to add "Cirque du Soleil guy" to the list of guys I date.  So freaking hot.
Drugs.  I was offered party treats no less than 10 times.  In the elevator, in the pool, in the club, you name it.
Elevator.  The hotel elevator was crazier than the Tower of Terror.  But a lot happened in the elevator - making out, new friends, those creepy guys who invited me back for a foot massage...
Flabongo. We stayed at the Flamingo.  So naturally, there was flabongo-ing in the pool. 
Grand Canyon.  "Who let YOU near a giant hole?"
Hoover Dam.  We saw it. 
Injuries.  Blisters from sunburns, sprained ankles/EMT check-ups on legs from falling down a set of marble steps, bite marks, respiratory infections... I won't say which was whose, but let's just say I will be wearing pants for the rest of summer, and I owe someone plastic surgery on their neck.
Jay Sean.  Accidentally stumbled onto a live concert.
King-sized bed.  Our room reservation got all mixed up, and rather than switching rooms after the first night, we opted to share the California King all week.  So much snuggling!
Lost & Found.  Well... so far nothing's been found.  What's missing?  My sunglasses, camera, and dignity. 
Marriage proposals.  All 3 of the Planeteers were proposed to by guys from London.  My proposal: "You're so cute, I just want to pack you into my suitcase....Marry me and come back to London with me."  Fire and Heart found brothers-- they could have been sisters!!
New Friends.  SPF Ghost, my vacation boyfriend.  Nipple Rings.  Chris and Andrew.  Elevator Guys.  The Beatles.  Ben from Michigan.  Crazy Lady in Hot Pink Bikini Playing Beach Ball.  Nurse Lady From Plane.
Oxygen Bar.  I wanted it so badly, but it was always closed.
PURE.  Our favorite night club by far.  Site of the VIP table dancing and camera losing.
Queasy.  How we all woke up every morning. 
Rallying.  Also known as clawing your way out of the depths of drunken hell and and rejoining the party in full-on pimp style.  Theme of the trip.
Sugar Factory.  A candy store/bar...  Best combination ever.
Two-dollar bill.  There may or may not have been an incident where someone stole a two dollar bill from the bathroom attendant at PURE.
Underwear.  I'm so tired from this trip that I put my underwear on backwards when I got dressed for work this morning.  I felt this needed to be included.
VIP.  Fire and I got tagged into VIP by a couple of NFL players.  Dancing on the tables/sofas with Goose ensued.
Water.  Call to room service "... and could you send the biggest pitcher of water that you have with that?"
Xxx.  Kisses, x-rated action, or a terrible Vin Diesel movie?  You decide.
Yarf.  A little surprising, but no one worshiped that porcelain god all week.
Zzz's.  21-hour rage sessions with intermittent naps don't leave much time for sleep.

The verdict?  Vegas 1, Lindsey 0. 

L