can exes be friends?

Recent events have me thinking about whether exes can truly be friends.  Demi and Bruce Willis seem to do just fine, vacationing with Ashton.  And if the crazy celebs can do it, why not us normal human beings?  My conclusion is yes -- you can be friends with your ex, but only if the following conditions are met:

1. There is no restraining order.  I don't think this needs to be explained.
2. Both parties are done breaking up, and both parties are done dating.  If there's unresolved anger/problems/feelings, it's not going to work.  The first relationship as lovers has to end before the second relationship as friends can begin.  And that also means that ...
3. You can't remember what they look like naked.  Can't be dredging up old sexual chemistry.  Even the closest of friendships don't easily survive a hook-up, or weird sexual feelings.  So why would it be any different for lovers-turned-exes-then-friends?
4. You actually want to be friends.  Too often, we think we want to be friends with an ex, but the subconscious motive is to find closure of some sort, and resolve problems/feelings.  Go back to #2 and try again.  If you truly want to be friends with your ex, it should be because you truly like him or her as a friend, not because you're avoiding moving on.  Focus on the initial attraction points --He's still got a great sense of humor, and is great to go to Tigers games with, or She is the coolest one at the office, likes the same music, and will go to dive bars 'til 3am hunting down bands with you.  It shouldn't be about the ease and familiarity. (He/She knows you watch Lifetime movies and don't shower on Sundays).

I've only had a few serious boyfriends, and friendship isn't easy to come by.  Big Blue and I are civil, and check in with each other every few months on Facebook chat to see how things are, but I suspect it's mostly out of a sense of obligation.  Voldemort and  I will probably never be friends -- there's a reason he's named the Dark Lord.  Tree and I managed to develop a great friendship.  We like to talk and visit, and we're supportive of each other's dating lives.  That said, I found out the hard way that just because you can be friends with exes doesn't mean it always works out.  Tree's new girlfriend was weirded out that we were friends, and our friendship has had to take a hiatus for the time being.  And that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes...

And on that note, I'm peacing out like the 4th of July.  (Don't ask me what this means, because I truly don't know).

L

PS:  Something funny to follow on Monday.... I've been saving up.